A Predator, a Terminator, and an Alien walk into a bar

In all honesty, Hollywood needs to just stop making movies in the Predator, Terminator, and Alien franchises. As special effects have gotten better, the stories in these franchises have just gotten worse and worse. They've lost the narrative to what these films should or could be about.
The last Predator was… I would say it was close to unwatchable. The writing, plot, and dialog was like an ongoing joke. The special effects we're bad and this is with today's supposedly superior technology. The music was forgettable. Everything about it was just bad.

The last Terminator was just going back through the first two Terminator movies with crazy time jumps. Again, the special effects were bad, the music forgettable, and the script was something where I just felt bad for the great actors who had to play out their parts. But wait… we have a new Terminator coming. This one wipes out all of the sequels and claims to be the direct sequel to number 2. Judging from the trailer though, it doesn't look impressive and then again, the CGI doesn't look good. I'll be passing on it.

As for the Alien franchise, if Ridley Scott had gone full on Engineer with Prometheus and not bothered with the Alien or the morphed human creature fight, and instead concentrated on it being an Ancient Alien space archaeology movie thriller, then he would have been onto something. However, Prometheus fell apart because he just had to add the alien and all of the crazy plot holes to get it into the movie. Scott took the failure of Prometheus for being that there wasn't enough Aliens in it and that wasn't it at all. It didn't stop him from doubling down and going back to the well for Alien Covenant, a movie that makes passing mention of the engineers (the most interesting part of the series at this point) and is all about crazy AI and that damn alien again. The alien that once again gets blown out of the hatch… Needless to say, Covenant was a failure.

It's time to lock these franchises up in a vault and publicly slap writers who bring script pitches to the studio. Enough already!!!
Bill Paxton was in all 3 franchises.
I really never want to see another Predator movie ever again. As far as the Terminator, if it isn't a movie that takes place after the cliffhanger ending of season 2 of The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Probably the best version of the entire franchise, even beating the first two movies), then no thanks. With Aliens, either go into the engineers in detail or just can this franchise altogether.

One problem with all three and their current sequels and reboots, is that they all feel the need to keep going back to the original movies and using tropes from each of them. We don't need that. We need new directions and new story ideas. Call backs to the original movies are just fan service and they do nothing but hurt the forward momentum of any script. Also, enough with the CGI. Let's go back to more practical filming for sci-fi instead of relying on making them overpriced video game cut scenes.

So a Predator, a Terminator, and an Alien walk into a bar and they all look at each other and think… oh no… not again.


Comments



  1. (Spoilers)

    I don't know why so many people seem to dislike Predators (2010). I thought it was great, and I wish it got a sequel. Despite a few admittedly goofy moments, it's right up there with the first film for me. I agree with folks about all the rest of the Predator films though, especially the latest one. (expand)

    I thought the first AvP was pretty decent. Not great, but not bad. It may not have the best taste, but it goes down smooth. Requiem, though? It's just as bad as The Predator. I'm actually not sure which is worse, as they're both nearly unwatchable.

    As for Terminator, what killed it is being a time traveling story in which the past could be changed. Once any story does that, it's all over when it comes to making total sense. The crash-and-burn the franchise has been suffering since then was inevitable in my opinion... although, admittedly, I thought Salvation was decent. (I've never seen the TV show.)

    I actually thought the new one could be decent enough. I had a fairly good feeling about the trailer, and that's not common. I have a sixth sense when it comes to trailers. Most of the time I'm right about whether or not I'll like a movie after seeing its trailer.

    But Alien... oh Alien. [sigh] Of these three franchises it had (has?) the most potential. The potential thematic content is so rich. The original Alien was a deep film. It was no mere monster movie. And although I enjoyed Aliens much more, I must confess that it doesn't have the depth of its predecessor. But even so, it's an extremely good action movie for the depth it does have.

    I actually enjoyed Alien 3, at least the Assembly Cut / Special Edition. I didn't enjoy it as much as the first two, but I thought it was still a pretty good film. But I hated the fact that it killed off Newt, though, which is the only reason I've never counted it among my head canon. That action unraveled the happy endings to both Alien and Aliens.

    Resurrection was a dumpster fire, which is sad because I actually like that director. Alien and "campy" absolutely do not mix. And cloning Ripley back was a huge mistake, narratively.

    As for Prometheus... that film and I have a complicated relationship. When I first saw it, I hated it. It didn't make any sense to me at all. My only question after seeing it was, "What just happened?", and I was referring to the entire film. But in time (with a lot of online research), I began to understand everything that left me confused or in the dark that first time. I even began to see how Scott seemed to deliberately made story decisions that didn't make any sense, but were meant to serve thematic purposes. Prometheus is a film that strangely sacrifices its rationality for the sake of its many messages.

    After that learning process, and getting over the fact that Scott was trying much too hard to be profound, I was able to appreciate the film.

    But Covenant? Covenant had no "light" or "warmth" in it at all. There was nothing in it that a person could hold onto in its horrifying reality. It was merely sadistic, and didn't even bother supplying a happy ending. Worse, far worse, they killed off Shaw -- off screen, even! And she died a terrible death. Everything I was looking forward to in Covenant hinged on her. But, oops, she was murdered, dissected, and became the mother of the xenomorphs... before Covenant even started. And the film didn't even bother going into any depth whatsoever about the Engineers. What a lost opportunity! And we'll never see any of Covenant's plot threads resolved or expanded, which is the final insult.

    I could see Alien continuing as a franchise, but as you say, it would need to primarily focus now on the Engineers (and pretend Space Jesus never happened). It would also need to provide a happy closure for the character of Daniels, and if possible, also Shaw.

    ReplyDelete


  2. (Spoilers)

    I don't know why so many people seem to dislike Predators (2010). I thought it was great, and I wish it got a sequel. Despite a few admittedly goofy moments, it's right up there with the first film for me. I agree with folks about all the rest of the Predator films though, especially the latest one. (expand)

    I thought the first AvP was pretty decent. Not great, but not bad. It may not have the best taste, but it goes down smooth. Requiem, though? It's just as bad as The Predator. I'm actually not sure which is worse, as they're both nearly unwatchable.

    As for Terminator, what killed it is being a time traveling story in which the past could be changed. Once any story does that, it's all over when it comes to making total sense. The crash-and-burn the franchise has been suffering since then was inevitable in my opinion... although, admittedly, I thought Salvation was decent. (I've never seen the TV show.)

    I actually thought the new one could be decent enough. I had a fairly good feeling about the trailer, and that's not common. I have a sixth sense when it comes to trailers. Most of the time I'm right about whether or not I'll like a movie after seeing its trailer.

    But Alien... oh Alien. [sigh] Of these three franchises it had (has?) the most potential. The potential thematic content is so rich. The original Alien was a deep film. It was no mere monster movie. And although I enjoyed Aliens much more, I must confess that it doesn't have the depth of its predecessor. But even so, it's an extremely good action movie for the depth it does have.

    I actually enjoyed Alien 3, at least the Assembly Cut / Special Edition. I didn't enjoy it as much as the first two, but I thought it was still a pretty good film. But I hated the fact that it killed off Newt, though, which is the only reason I've never counted it among my head canon. That action unraveled the happy endings to both Alien and Aliens.

    Resurrection was a dumpster fire, which is sad because I actually like that director. Alien and "campy" absolutely do not mix. And cloning Ripley back was a huge mistake, narratively.

    As for Prometheus... that film and I have a complicated relationship. When I first saw it, I hated it. It didn't make any sense to me at all. My only question after seeing it was, "What just happened?", and I was referring to the entire film. But in time (with a lot of online research), I began to understand everything that left me confused or in the dark that first time. I even began to see how Scott seemed to deliberately made story decisions that didn't make any sense, but were meant to serve thematic purposes. Prometheus is a film that strangely sacrifices its rationality for the sake of its many messages.

    After that learning process, and getting over the fact that Scott was trying much too hard to be profound, I was able to appreciate the film.

    But Covenant? Covenant had no "light" or "warmth" in it at all. There was nothing in it that a person could hold onto in its horrifying reality. It was merely sadistic, and didn't even bother supplying a happy ending. Worse, far worse, they killed off Shaw -- off screen, even! And she died a terrible death. Everything I was looking forward to in Covenant hinged on her. But, oops, she was murdered, dissected, and became the mother of the xenomorphs... before Covenant even started. And the film didn't even bother going into any depth whatsoever about the Engineers. What a lost opportunity! And we'll never see any of Covenant's plot threads resolved or expanded, which is the final insult.

    I could see Alien continuing as a franchise, but as you say, it would need to primarily focus now on the Engineers (and pretend Space Jesus never happened). It would also need to provide a happy closure for the character of Daniels, and if possible, also Shaw.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Podcasting Phenomenon

I miss Tower Records

The Ninja Writes week in review (7/22/19)